benzado

rubysneakers: Getting some last snugglin’ in before I am outta...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 03:06:46 -0500

Getting some last snugglin’ in before I am outta town tomorrow.

With the expression on your face, this reads more like you are explaining how your brilliant plan will unfold to Inspector Gadget, shortly before you kill him.

Jinkies! frankhejl: Ha! sherrypop: Boys are strange and...

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:00:45 -0500

Jinkies!

frankhejl:

Ha!

sherrypop:

Boys are strange and wonderful…

nickholmes:

I’ll never be as lonely as the person who drew this.

bransonreese: benzado: So, in the interest of Truth, I’d like...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:56:39 -0500

bransonreese:

benzado:

So, in the interest of Truth, I’d like to see some evidence to support your assertion. I’ll even offer $20 for it: show me an equivalent video of equally ignorant Obama supporters.

Ben, I have a few questions for you as per the parameters of your offer.

1.) Is it open to me?

2.) Can I film myself if I promise you that I am truly ignorant?

3.) Can I film myself displaying ignorance on other topics for bonus money?

4.) Would you accept a copy of my sixth grade video presentation on water treatment where I had obviously done no research and alleged that water was mostly cleaned by gravity?

I only ask because it’s been a pretty rough month for me financially. If you aren’t willing to pay me twenty dollars to tell a camera about things I don’t know, I understand. Do you have any friends who are into that sort of thing? I’m pretty flexible on price. Also, if anybody reading this is looking for some slightly used furniture at a good rate, hit me up. I would use the phrase “well loved” but it makes it sound like I had sex with my stuff. I did not do this.

1.) Yes.

2.) It’s a free country.

3.) I’m not doing this to encourage ignorance.

4.) No.

I’ll seriously pay $20 for an equivalent video, but to me that means an interviewer talking to a number of Obama supporters, with responses as ignorant or incoherent as the people waiting for Sarah Palin to sign their books. While I don’t believe all liberals are policy wonks, I do believe there are some fundamental differences in the reasons people get excited about politicians.

You can make the video yourself if you want, but all I had in mind was that somebody find and send me a link to a video that some College Republicans somewhere had already made. I hope nobody thought I was offering $20 to make a video… nobody’s time is worth that little.

I am a winner of something! jillmorris: I will stop reblogging...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:18:53 -0500

I am a winner of something!

jillmorris:

I will stop reblogging myself soon. I really loved this submission.

comedyflashbackweek:

FLASHBACK WITH *BENJAMIN RAGHEB

“I am submitting this in the hope of earning the title of Farthest Flashback: it is a video made by David Chottiner and myself (with some help by Andy Maher) in the Spring of 1998. It served as a “cold open” to The Evening of the Arts, an annual student-run variety show.

Although you are watching it on a computer, it was originally recorded and edited on VHS-format magnetic tape, using state-of-the-art play-pause-rewind-record techniques. Afterward it was delivered to the school on foot, in the snow, uphill, both ways.

Some useful things to know when watching:

“Playing for Time” is a play, based on a movie, based on a book about female prisoners in a Nazi death camp who played music for their captors. I played the part of Doctor Joseph Mengele. It was the most humorless thing we had ever taken part in.

Mr. Paul “Scooter” Ejzak served as Assistant Coach for the cross country running team the year before, where he let the students call him “Scooter”; the following year he joined the English Department and asked us to address him as Mr. Ejzak. We tried, but old habits are hard to break.

In 1998 our school issued student ID cards. This video is the only time we ever used them for anything.

Anthony Hopkins appears courtesy Orion Pictures Corporation.”

- Benjamin Ragheb

“Chottiner & Ragheb host ‘An Evening of the Arts’” - “An Evening of the Arts” is an annual student-run performance at Shady Side Academy. In the Spring of 1998, seniors David Chottiner and Benjamin Ragheb asked student organizer Meera Nair if they could host the show. She agreed, and David and Ben made this video to be played in Memorial Hall prior to their entrance. It was edited using dual VCRs.”

*Festival Performer/Winner of Farthest Flashback

sherrypop: In the interest of fairness, however, I will point...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:07:31 -0500

sherrypop:

In the interest of fairness, however, I will point out that if you asked many rabid Obama supporters the same questions, they also wouldn’t be able to tell you his actual positions on crucial issues.

The bottom line is that we are a dumb-ass country easily swayed by charisma and a pretty face…

While what you say does serve the interest of Fairness, I don’t see why we should be serving Fairness as an interest. In fact, an obsession with Fairness as an end unto itself has done our country a lot of damage. Consider, for example, the necessity of having one representative from each side of the “Do vaccines cause autism?” debate, even though the hard-earned scientific research is overwhelmingly conclusive that ignorant parents are bringing back the measles over nothing.

So, in the interest of Truth, I’d like to see some evidence to support your assertion. I’ll even offer $20 for it: show me an equivalent video of equally ignorant Obama supporters.

rubysneakers: This scene won my highly prestigious Thursday...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:24:35 -0500

rubysneakers:

This scene won my highly prestigious Thursday Night Comedy Block Favorite Scene-Off… Award.

That episode of Parks and Recreation, and the episode of The Office that followed it, pretty much defined the different trajectories each show is on.

The Pawnee Parks Department goes on a hunting trip, and the “obvious” choice would be for Leslie Knope to eagerly and incompetently blunder her way into a hunting accident, because she is “obviously” the counterpart of Michael Scott. But that’s not what happens. Leslie actually knows how to handle a rifle and is a decent shot, and what’s even better is that they don’t even make a big deal out of it because that’s not what the episode is about.

A half hour later, Michael Scott goes to an important Dunder-Mifflin shareholder meeting and guess what happens? You’re right! Just like you guessed.

The Office has always bothered me on a fundamental level because someone as dumb as Michael Scott as a branch manager isn’t really believable. When Parks and Recreation was introduced as “oh, another The Office,” I remained optimistic, because government work is a much better fit for that idealistic and naïve type of character.

But it’s pretty clear now that Leslie Knope is not Michael Scott.

No matter what you do, she'll find a problem.

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 18:12:00 -0500

No matter what you do, she'll find a problem.:

Sometimes I go to the kitchen sink and it’s empty. I feel sad about the fact that my roommate feels he has to hide his eating from me, by washing his dishes and putting them away.

signsandwonders: “Even more than the girls, the men really need to learn from it. Because...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:45:01 -0500

signsandwonders:

“Even more than the girls, the men really need to learn from it. Because everyone’s focusing on the women, but the problem isn’t the women.” — Rihanna

Okay it REALLY annoys me every time I see the “Sexual harassment is a crime on the subway too. Don’t be afraid to report it to the police” sign. are you serious? How about “Sexual Harassment is a crime on the subways. Don’t grope people or you’ll go to jail.” Rant over.

Reminds me of an op-ed piece by Deborah Tannen, about the reactions of American women and Greek women to being groped or harassed:

The experiences the Greek women described were similar to those I’d heard from Americans. But there was a difference. Most of the American women — like those recently interviewed in the New York news media — told me they had felt humiliated and helpless and had done or said nothing. Of the 25 stories Greek women told me, only eight concluded with the speaker doing nothing. In the others, she said she had yelled, struck back or both.

This might explain the emphasis on “don’t be afraid to report it.”

rubysneakers: travishelwig: purns: spolikeluzhate: Empire...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:01:54 -0500

rubysneakers:

travishelwig:

purns:

spolikeluzhate:

Empire State of Mind Part II

To be released on Alicia Key’s upcoming Album.

This song is the only reason anyone should need NOT to move to LA.

I was just trying to find the mp3 for this. If you have it SPO, hand it the fuck over.

Click for MP3 audio file extracted from the above video.

davebluvband: I cannot find this song on amazon or itunes. It’s on the soundtrack for the...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:48:50 -0500

davebluvband:

I cannot find this song on amazon or itunes. It’s on the soundtrack for the movie “Out Cold” and nothing else. If anyone knows how to obtain it, let me know.

Here’s how to take the sound track out of a video and get it onto your iPod.

Download the video from YouTube as a MP4 file. There are a dozen ways to do this. YouTubeMP4.com is probably the easiest. I have ClickToFlash installed, that can do it too.
Switch to iTunes. Hold down the option key and pull down the Advanced menu. Select “Convert to AAC…” (should be the fifth item on the menu).
Select your downloaded video.mp4 file.
Watch the progress bar go! (It should be fast, it’s just extracting the audio track from the file, it shouldn’t have to encode or compress anything.)
Throw the video.mp4 file in the trash and set the track title, artist name, album title, etc. in iTunes.

mikescollins: “There’s one thing people have to understand: Comics are not happy clowns. They are...

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:29:27 -0500

mikescollins:

“There’s one thing people have to understand: Comics are not happy clowns. They are dark people, all of them, no matter how they grow up or what color they are. Anyone who has devoted his life to comedy and making people laugh wants to see that joy reflected back at him by rooms full of people because he’s never seen that kind of happiness anywhere else. Comedians are comedians because they need that laughter and joy; it fills a hole in them. Some of them will never get that hole filled either. For some comics, no amount of success and no amount of laughter is enough - that pain can never be relieved, that emptiness can never be satisfied.”

— Tracy Morgan (from his new book ‘I Am The New Black) (via benzado)

I hate that so many of my friends are reblogging this. Sure this is true of some comics, maybe even most comics, but to say “all of them” is inaccurate. Not every comic is trying to fill a void. Some are just trying to spread the joy they’ve been lucky enough to be brought up with.

Well, he only says “all of them” are dark people (in the mood sense, not in way my grandfather used the term) no matter how they were brought up. I think that’s true; even the most cheerful comedians I know don’t flinch at the mention of some pretty gruesome or disturbing ideas. I agree that a bottomless emotional void is not a requirement, I hope it is not, just like I hope severe alcohol and drug abuse isn’t required to produce Great Art.

"When you don’t drink, people always need to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ This..."

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:53:33 -0500

“When you don’t drink, people always need to know why. They’re like, ‘You don’t drink? Why?’ This never happens with anything else. ‘You don’t use mayonnaise? Why? Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it OK if I use mayonnaise?’”

- Jim Gaffigan (via castoffcrown) (via shortmikeshort) (via chrysilla)
I always want to hear an explanation when somebody says they don’t eat mayo.

"There’s one thing people have to understand: Comics are not happy clowns. They are dark people, all..."

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 12:47:33 -0500

“There’s one thing people have to understand: Comics are not happy clowns. They are dark people, all of them, no matter how they grow up or what color they are. Anyone who has devoted his life to comedy and making people laugh wants to see that joy reflected back at him by rooms full of people because he’s never seen that kind of happiness anywhere else. Comedians are comedians because they need that laughter and joy; it fills a hole in them. Some of them will never get that hole filled either. For some comics, no amount of success and no amount of laughter is enough - that pain can never be relieved, that emptiness can never be satisfied.”

- Tracy Morgan (from his new book ‘I Am The New Black) (via danhacker) (via brvtalbrodeo) (via anthonybergen) (via wellthatsjustgreat) (via rubysneakers)

patbaer: a dude PUSHED me into street today and a van had to swerve to avoid me. WTF NYC? Now you...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:32:40 -0500

patbaer:

a dude PUSHED me into street today and a van had to swerve to avoid me. WTF NYC?

Now you know better than to start shit on message boards, yo.

Come find me if you want some of my blood.

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:52:38 -0500

Come find me if you want some of my blood.:

In case you care, this whole episode has left me feeling awful. Like, physically.

"How would Apple like it if when they discovered a serious bug in OS X, instead of releasing a..."

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:05:00 -0500

“How would Apple like it if when they discovered a serious bug in OS X, instead of releasing a software update immediately, they had to submit their code to an intermediary who sat on it for a month and then rejected it because it contained an icon they didn’t like?”

- Apple’s Mistake

digsyfinallyhasa: And also, the use of the phrase “fucking manned up” makes it sound...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 04:17:04 -0500

digsyfinallyhasa:

And also, the use of the phrase “fucking manned up” makes it sound like you don’t like your friends. And I know that’s not the case, but I just sometimes wonder if you understand the severity of your internet voice. Because you come across as a much bigger stick in the mud than I know you to be in real life. It’s whack.

I tried to communicate a very specific idea: if you want people to pay attention to you, start by doing something worth paying attention to, don’t demand attention before you’ve done anything.

I can’t say for sure if it applies to the sushi show, because I wasn’t there, and nobody who could clear it up has bothered to weigh in.

I said it is presumptuous to demand attention if you haven’t done anything yet. Nicole responded to say it isn’t presumptuous to perform if you’ve been invited to. I didn’t say they shouldn’t perform. She also said they weren’t interrupting anybody’s dinner, unless they were, in which case it wasn’t their fault, because they were invited. Whose fault is what has nothing to do with anything.

Katey sarcastically accused me of not being familiar with improv or Dreadnought. I don’t even understand what she was insinuating, so I resorted to using “pay TV language” to reiterate my point.

While composing this I see that Will and Katey have followed up.

Will says the clip was from the middle of the show, Dreadnought wasn’t timid, and the audience was into it. Great! So what I’m saying doesn’t even apply to them! I was never sure that it did.

Katey says it is ridiculous to say what a team should or shouldn’t do in a show setting. But I’m not talking about how to do improv. I’m talking about basic doing-anything-in-front-of-an-audience, whatever you want to call it. Stuff like, you don’t humiliate an audience member who didn’t provoke you. Is it ridiculous to suggest something like that?

I’m trying to defend an idea on its own merit, but people are taking it as a personal criticism of what our friends did in a sushi restaurant. It’s me versus them versus a straw man that is on fire.

So yeah, I’m frustrated, because everybody is upset with this straw man. Should I apologize for the things you think I said? I didn’t say them! But if I don’t you’ll go home thinking about what an asshole I am. It’s not me, it’s a straw man!

Ironically, I never would have even listened to the clip in the first place, except I read Pat’s post and thought I’d back him up on what I thought might be an unpopular opinion.

tl;dr, right?

For all my brothers and sisters gettin' notes on their shows.

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:55:00 -0500

What is game? Who got game?
Where’s the game
in life
behind the game behind the game?
I got game.
She got game.
We got game.
They got game.
He got game.
It might feel good,
It might sound a lil’ somethin’,
but fuck the game
if it ain’t sayin nothin’.

— Public Enemy

allthelatestmoves: theoriginaljoefisher: bohemea: Oprah To...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:19:04 -0500

allthelatestmoves:

theoriginaljoefisher:

bohemea:

Oprah To Go Off Air In 2011

In a press release received early Thursday evening, Tim Bennett, the president of Harpo, Inc., Oprah’s production company, has announced the show will go off the air.

“Tomorrow [Friday], Oprah will announce live on ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ that she has decided to end what is arguably one of the most popular, influential and enduring programs in television history. The sun will set on the “Oprah” show as its 25th season draws to a close on September 9, 2011.”

Tune in at 4 p.m. this Friday on Channel 9 for Oprah’s live announcement.

Even though I never watched it, it’s hard to imagine a world without Oprah.

Nooo!

Just in time to put a 2012 Presidential campaign together. What? You thought she’d go into hiding?

rubysneakers: benzado: nicolemarietherese: benzado: Likewise...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:39:00 -0500

rubysneakers:

benzado:

nicolemarietherese:

benzado:

Likewise, if you’re doing a show like this, it is presumptuous to demand that anybody pay attention to you before you’ve done anything to prove you’re worth their time. Especially because, unlike a high school classroom, you’re not even supposed to be there.

I believe management hired them. There’s nothing presumptuous about performing where you were asked to perform.

Additionally, they’re not interupting anybody’s dinner. They were invited by the owner of the restaurant to accompany the dinner performance. If the owner didn’t properly advertise that to patrons, it’s on him.

Look, I’m not saying they shouldn’t have done the show. I know for a fact that they were invited by the manager. But once you enter a room it and it’s clear the audience isn’t there to see you, you adjust your behavior accordingly. I’m saying that instead of shouting “excuse me?” for two minutes, they should have just started the show.

“Adjust their behavior”? “Should have”? Are you familiar with improv, or Dreadnought?

Let me rephrase, since people don’t seem to understand what I’m saying: they should have fucking manned up and dived straight into performing, instead of begging like a bunch of pansies for people to look at them.

If that’s antithetical to Dreadnought or improv, I guess I know nothing about either.