not until you finish the ones you have
Reblogged in full because there isn’t a way to quote this without changing the meaning.
The first few months I volunteered at the shelter, I almost exclusively came during the day before the guests came, to do administrative stuff and building upkeep. The few times I helped with dinner I felt uncomfortable with how much attention they paid me due to being a young woman. Also, there was another young woman volunteer who was very flirtatious with them, and it put me in a bad position, like I was expected to be that way too.
Plus, there was one guy who was really disrespectful and would make a show of looking me up and down every time he saw me. If I knew the friars like I do now, I would have just told them, but I barely knew them so I felt awkward about it and never said anything.
I don’t go anywhere to look pretty or to make someone feel like a man, so for the most part I stuck to coming during the day.
Over time though, I’ve become to come at night, and greeting the shelter guests and eating with them is my favorite thing to do now. The creepy guy is gone, and so is that other volunteer I mentioned, so the dynamic is different. It’s awesome getting to know them in all their diversity, as Dorothy Day would say, “the worthy and the unworthy poor.” On good days there is a beautiful fraternal atmosphere among the guests, friars, and volunteers. (There are bad days, too. There have been fights and near-fights.)
There is one thing I really hate though. When dinner is served, they insist on “ladies first.” In the best cases, they just individually admonish me until I move to the front of the line. In the worst case, they practically chant, “LADIES FIRST!”
I maybe partially oppose it on sort of feminist grounds, but also I hate attention being on me, and I hate even more when people bring attention to the fact that I am one of one to three women in a room full of men, and it makes me uncomfortable that probably the “wealthiest” and most well-fed person in the room is the one to go first. It’s like some sort of assertion despite everything of masculinity. I don’t know, the whole thing makes me uncomfortable.
I used to avoid the dining room altogether until everyone had gotten their food, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with this situation. Lately though, I’ve let them make me go first. Who am I to let my vague objections and self-consciousness prevent these men, who have very few chances to exert power, perform an act of chivalry?
I don’t want to eat first because I’m not as hungry as they are. But they don’t want me to see them like that. They want me to see them not as people weaker than me in some way, but as “men.” So I let them.
Literally an argument on Facebook that porn and chick flicks are equally destructive and sinful.
What is this even.
ffs nothing makes me lose it like when guys claim that ~reality tv~ or ~romance novels~ are the same as porn. NO. NO. NO. NO.
I’ve heard Food Network compared to porn in similar context.
Because ladies watching Alton Brown make pancakes is just like men watching women get raped on screen. And that makes total sense. Fair is fair, ladeeez.
That’s not why. It’s because cooking shows and pornography have a lot in common with regard to framing (lots of close-up shots), editing (skipping over the boring, tedious parts), and viewing (watching someone else perform an activity that, let’s face it, you won’t be doing any time soon).
The question you should be asking is: how did I figure it out?
five puppies six puppies seven potato floor
That really only works if you are pointing a gun at my feet, in a saloon, in the old west.
You have a problem, you need to hire an expert to solve it.
To hire someone, you need to judge their skills.
But because you are not an expert, you lack the ability to judge the skills of somebody who claims to be an expert.
This happens all the time. For example, when you need to choose a doctor, lawyer, accountant, contractor, etc.
Since you can’t judge them directly, you look for other evidence, usually recommendations from people you trust.